I am fat. No two ways about it. To be completely honest, I am morbidly obese. I am 100+ lbs over weight. As of today, I weight 225.2 lbs at a height of 5’ 2” tall. I’m 33. I’m not getting taller or younger. I have now been bloated, chubby, chunky, voluptuous, fat or obese since leaving college. That’s better than 10 years ago. And while I might not always have been as fat as I am now, I have not been healthy in a lot of years.
I work in a Doctor’s office as a receptionist, and I am a trained massage therapist. I know how much being overweight is bad for your body, your mind, and your soul. I have seen someone lose their legs due to diabetes. I have seen a patient with non-healing, wounds on the legs and back from where the patient sits all day and the flesh has died. The patient is headed down hill fast now from infections in those wounds, caused by obesity coupled with inactivity. I work with a woman who suffers various problems with her knees and back from obesity. She needs knee and back surgery and has told she can’t have them because her weight puts her a too much of a risk combined with her diabetes, cholesterol and blood pressure issues.
My family history should be enough of a warning too: we run high blood pressure and cholesterol. While there are no major cardiac or diabetes in my family, cancer runs in the family. I am the fattest person in my family, not just my immediate family, but in the extend family too (for the most part). I have been fortunate so far having no major issues caused by my weight, but how long will I stay that lucky if I continue to not take action?
I have tried to lose weight several times in the past. And to be fair I have lost weight, but I have never reached my goal weight or kept off the weight I did fight to lose. Why? CONSISTENCY! I lose weight I feel better, good even, I cheat, I fall of course, I’m back where I started. Until today I was a non active member of weight watchers. That changes today. I have already been on the W.W. website, and updated my weight and re-figured my daily points. I have gone to the gym. I have tracked my brunch, and my activity points. As of now, I am a proud active W.W. member again.
The “Big SIX” Reasons:
1. I have having my photo taken, I have looking at myself. I don’t want to be the fat girl in the photo. When I do go out with my friends I don’t want to the DUF (designated fat or ugly friend), I am beautiful, and the world should see that. I should see that when I look at my body.
2. I want to be able to shop at my favorite store for jeans again (American Eagle). I don’t want to shop in the fat clothes section, or in fat clothes stores. I want to wear shirts that fit across my boobs and back correctly.
3. I want to be able to see my feet when I look down instead of my spare tire.
4. I want to have children sooner rather than later, I want to have a healthy body for pregnancy and to be able to keep up and play with him/her or them once they arrive.
5. I want to be fit. No, it is not enough for me to just lose the weight. I don’t want to be winded after walking up two flights of stairs. I want to run a ½ marathon. I want to complete a triathlon.
6. I want to be healthier. I want to sleep better and snore less. I want to have more energy throughout the day.
The Problem Spots
Diet – I think I do OK when it comes to food choices. Not great, just OK, but besides watching what I eat is how much I eat. Portion size control is always hard for me. Staying away from bread and calorie dense foods like cheese is hard too. Sweets are a minimal problem, but crunchy snacks that are salty very hard.
Exercise – Is a fight, everyday. I’m a list maker, so I LOVE checking this one off, but more days than not, it is the last thing on my “to do” list and I can easily be talked out of it. This has to become a habitual part of my life and who I am, if I want to be fit. And I DO want to be fit. This has to come high on the priority list now, just below eating sleeping and working for a living. Being an athlete in high school, and college, you wouldn’t think that the routine of working out would be a problem right? Wrong. I did soccer, track and crew. With both soccer and crew, you are part of a team. It’s not just you dragging your sorry butt up at 5 am. It’s the team. You have a work out partner(s) and a coach! That’s right a coach, a built in personal trainer, telling you want to do, how to exercise everyday for maximum benefit. But mostly, it was fun! Now, exercise feels like work. I hope this will change, but even if it doesn’t, I still need to do the work, even if I can’t afford my own personal trainer (aka coach).
Stress – Work related, life related. It doesn’t matter, stress take me off my A game. It makes it hard to care about in the moment decisions about food, and exercise. It make me take a “who, cares, WTF, I’ll start again tomorrow” kind of attitude, which while acceptable on a rare occasion, should not rule my life. Nor should it rule my decisions about food or exercise. It is exactly at these times that I should exercise, that I should think twice about what foods I’m eating.
The Weigh In's...
July 15, 2010 - 225.2lbs
July 22, 2010 - 220.0lbs
July 30, 2010 - 217.4lbs
August 12, 2010 - 217.6lbs
September 2, 2010 - 217.0lbs
September 9 2010 - 216.6lbs
* for the first couple of months, I oscilated between 225 and 217 more than once, consistency definately being a problem. Since August 26th, I have been much more consistant, and have seen about a 7 lb weight loss. Also, my BFF, Whome, and I have commited to doing the Savannah Rock and Roll 1/2 marathon in November 2011. And I am also interested in doing a Connecticut Team in Training event, that would take place in June 2011. This event would be a 74 mile bike ride near/around Lake Tahoe. That means that I have some serious training goals to work toward over the comming winter, spring, and summer.
