Wednesday, December 27, 2006

'nother day

That's what I keep telling myself as I sit at a desk job that pays the bills.

'nother day, 'nother dollar ... Well sometimes I don't know what that 'nother dollar does. Wait. Yes, yes I do know. It gets me just a little closer to doing the things I really need/want to do like start my own business, scrapbook, get new camera equipment (like my dearly loved Nikon D70s), to sell more things on e-bay, go to Yoga class, lose weight( yeah weight watchers), actually cook a semi-real dinner ( please I can't take another boxed taco dinner), take my cat to the vet, and fix the car.

Then there are days when I say 'nother dollar, what 'nother dollar?! Where did it go? I never saw it. Did I lose it? Did I drop it while getting the keys from my pocket? Did my foster daughter steal it for her lunch money? I'm almost 2 months over due for my yearly review (and hopefully a raise). I don't have a 'nother dollar!

Then there are days like today... when the the missing 'nother dollar magically appears... I put on a winter jacket, one I haven't worn since last year - it's finally getting cold out and surprise, in the inner pocket.. there was 10 'nother dollars.. 'thank Goddess' I think, as I put 5 in my gas tank and the other 5 bought me lunch. Then I get to work, answer phones, and deal with Co-workers (mental midgets) and idiots (if common sense was common everyone would have it) and think again is a 'nother day really worth a 'nother dollar?

On another note- Found a new website today, www.despair.com. Finally someone understands my attitude problem.

Monday, December 25, 2006

Happy Christmas

Here I am.. I've kissed my boyfriend good morning, wishing him a merry Christmas, and I spent Christmas eve with my parents having wine watching the Denver Broncos game, and opening 1 present. And today Sam and I will pick up our daughter from her mom's house and bring her over her grandparents house to finish unwrapping gifts from us and our part of the family.

The question arrives every year.. what is Christmas about? I mean really about?

For a pagan such as myself, Christmas isn't Christmas. I celebrate Yule. The darkest day of the year is a holy one for me, and as we celebrate the birth of the sun, Light LOTS of candles, and sing songs, and meditate about the coming year, presents and Christmas are the farthest things from my mind. I'm sure for those that are christian and go to church regularly that Christmas and it's holy connotation are not much different in content or practice. The song's maybe different, the God being brought into the world as an infant maybe different, but the fact that it is a holy event - no different. But that still leave me with the fact that ALL my relatives and most of my friends celebrate Christmas. I think I get an added advantage. I have a holy day that is celebrated close to but not on Christmas. I don't have the stress of tons of people coming over, of trying to cook dinner, open presents and entertain guests, and still keep the idea that it's a holy day all in one place. I can separate them.

For me, Christmas is a tradition, one that many families partake no matter their level, or type, of religious background. Christmas is about G.I.F.T.S.

G is for generosity - the spirit of giving. It's watching someone you love opening the present that you know that they really really wanted. It's the surprise on their face, the way their smile lights up. G is for generosity, to giving and/or helping someone less fortunate this time of year. To donating time, food, clothing, blood, shelter, warmth. It's about bringing hope, and a smile to someone heart and face.

I is for innocence - the child like wonder that Santa exists, that he really did eat the plate of cookies left for him. The wide eyed expression of joy and magic when finding all those presents under the tree. The unknown surprises hidden behind the thin sheets of ugly, bright, shiny, pretty paper. The fact that wrapped presents make it truly look like there's a lot more stuff under the tree than it looks like after the presents are opened. I is for innocence and the sound of Christmas carols. For the fresh blanket of snow that wraps the world in softness and quiet, excitement and happiness - all at the same time.

F is for family - celebrating first Christmases for babies and newlyweds. To seeing relative that live 15 minutes away, 3 states away, a country away. Remembering those that have passed on, and now celebrate Christmas only in spirit. For memories, and stories shared around the fire. A common link between generations. The sounds of laughter, and the yearly scrabble game to find out if anyone can yet beat grandma- the ultimate player. The smell of Uncle Bill's pipe and the smells of dinner. The tastes of peppermint sticks, and the orange found in the toe of the stocking. F is for family close and extended, for friends that stop and visit, for phone calls and well wishing.

T is for traditions - Time honored and well worn. Tree hunting, mistletoe, and The Grinch. Santa hats, carols, hot chocolate. Sugar cookies, pie and ice cream. Midnight mass, opening one present on Christmas eve, placing baby Jesus in the nativity scene. Carrots for reindeer, fresh bird seed for the birds, catnip for the cats, and bones for the dogs. Stocking hung by the fire with care, goodnight kisses, reading this years Christmas book. Yearly family photos in front of the tree, addition of new ornaments, and blessings at the dinner table. Thoughtful. Thankful.

S is for spirit - Yes, Virginia there is a Santa Claus. To the ghosts of Christmas past and present. Remembering family and friends that we have lost. Honoring memories. Not just seeing the Light of Christ, but being the Light of Christ - holding the door for someone whose arms are full when shopping. Working in a soup Kitchen for 4 hours, Helping a family who is coming out of a battered women's shelter furnish their new home. Making the dreams of a child come true. Loving your family and your friends. Being loved by family and friends. Tearful goodbyes. Warm wishes, and until next year.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Ah, the first post

Here I am opting out of sitting in a crowded movie theatre, posting a test blog on a new site.. the beginning of yet another new year resolution to journal more. Will it work.. I dunno, it hasn't in the past. Well worth a shot.